Hard Truths & Lessons Learned
The Impact on My Kids
I knew separation would affect my kids, but I wasn’t prepared for how deeply. I was not ready for my son to ask, “Why are you doing this to Daddy?” Nothing prepares you for that moment. Watching my kids struggle with this change has been one of the hardest parts. My son has entered his attitude era—he doesn’t listen like he used to, and I know it’s because he’s feeling stress and anxiety but doesn’t know how to process it at just seven years old. I’ve had to navigate tough conversations, reassure them in ways I never expected, and learn to be both strong and vulnerable for them.
It’s only been about a week and a half since everything changed, and my kids both miss their father. They’ve been sleeping in my bed every night. Honestly, I think it’s as much for my comfort as it is for theirs. This transition is hard on all of us, and I am doing my best to get through it while making sure they still feel safe and loved.
Co-Parenting Isn’t Always Simple
At first, we had agreements—things we discussed to make this transition smoother. He agreed to pay for the kids’ activities, clothes, and help cover utilities and rent until things were stable. I wanted to believe we could handle everything without involving the courts, but sometimes, that’s not an option. Co-parenting requires two willing participants, and when that’s not the case, you have to protect yourself and your children—even if it means legal intervention.
The reality hit hard when I walked into pure chaos. I had just gotten home, already exhausted from the weight of the morning, only to find that the internet had been shut off. As I was on the phone trying to get it back on, my son was getting off the bus, my daughter was playing loudly, and then there was a knock at the door—Rent-A-Center, here to take back the TV because my ex had called them. It was one of those moments where everything crashes down at once, and you just have to push through.
But I can deal. I do deal. I am not like him. Taking things away from me won’t break me. I will rebuild, and eventually, I’ll have everything I need—on my own terms. He no longer has control over me.
The Fear of Financial Independence
For the first time in my life, I am truly on my own. I’ve never had to be fully independent before, and the weight of figuring out how to afford everything alone is overwhelming. It’s not just about paying bills—it’s about building long-term stability, creating a life that I can depend on. Some days, fear creeps in: Will I be able to do this? I can’t lie, it’s terrifying. The uncertainty is heavy. But I can’t afford to let fear control me. I have no choice but to push forward.
So, I’m taking action. I’m enrolled in digital marketing courses, equipping myself with the skills that will open doors and create opportunities. I’m doing content creation for a company—right now, it’s just per project, but I’m praying for consistent work by April. I’m building my blog, learning how to monetize it, and figuring out social media strategies from the success stories of others.
There are moments when I feel like I’m fumbling in the dark, unsure if I’m doing enough or even the right thing. But I remind myself—this is a journey, and I’m on the right path. Every day, every step, is one step closer to the independence I’m working for. It’s not easy, but I refuse to let fear win. I will keep moving forward, not just surviving, but creating a life where I can stand strong on my own.
The Weight of the Unknown
Will my kids hate me forever? Will they blame me for ruining their lives? These questions haunt me every day, and sometimes, it feels like they’re all I think about. But the one question I never ask myself is: Am I doing the right thing? Deep down, I know I am. Even when everything around me feels like it’s burning to the ground, I trust that this is the right choice.
It’s terrifying. I won’t lie—there are days when I feel completely lost, unsure of whether I’m making the right moves. But through the chaos, I still see a way out. I’m surrounded by flames, but I’m putting them out—slowly, steadily—with the help of my family and my own determination. It feels painfully slow, and some days I wonder if I’ll ever get to the other side, but I have to believe that I will. Because, deep in my heart, I know I will.
Faith & Taking Action
I use my church’s app every day, and it’s honestly amazing how every single message and prayer seems to speak directly to me. Some days, it’s exactly what I need to hear. It reminds me that God is with me—fighting for me, guiding me, and shaping me into the person I’m meant to be.
I really hope my story resonates with someone who needs to hear it. I know I’m not the first woman to walk this path, and I won’t be the last. But maybe my words can remind someone that they, too, can make it through. For me, finding my faith has been the key to finding my voice. It’s given me strength when I thought I had none left, and now, I’m learning how to use that voice to share my journey.
Strength & Support Systems
My sister sends me motivational quotes and reminds me daily that I am strong. My mom tells me, We aren’t going to let you fall. My family is showing up for me in ways I didn’t even expect. They drive hours to help get my kids and me where we need to go because I don’t have a car right now. They’ve helped me financially, even when I know it’s not easy for them.
I don’t take any of this for granted. I’m learning that independence doesn’t mean doing everything on my own—it means knowing when to ask for help and allowing myself to receive it. It’s humbling to realize how much I’ve been given, especially when I know not everyone has this kind of support.
I am lucky. I am so incredibly grateful.
Proving Myself Wrong (and Him, Too)
One thing my ex said that stuck with me was, “Who made you think you can?” And my answer? God did. I did. It’s not always easy to believe in myself, especially when everything around me feels uncertain, but I know I’m doing the right thing. Even when fear grips me. Even when I can’t see how it will all work out. I’m proving to myself every day that I am capable, strong, and worthy of a better future.
Some days, I feel the weight of doubt, like I’m not sure I’ll make it through. I have moments where the uncertainty feels like a heavy fog that I can’t escape. But then I remind myself: I don’t have to have it all figured out today. What matters is that I’m still moving forward. I’m still taking steps, no matter how small they feel.
I don’t know what the future holds. I’m not in control of everything, but I do know that I have faith in myself—and that’s something no one can take from me. Every day I don’t give up, I’m proving to myself that I’m strong enough to keep going.